Monthly Archives: September 2012

Weird Al Yankovic - Trapped in the drive-thru lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Trapped in the drive-thru lyrics



Trapped in the drive-thru by Weird Al Yankovic


7:00 in the evenin', watchin' somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa when my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, "Is this 'Behind The Music' with Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know... say, it's gettin' late, whatcha wanna do for dinner?"
She says, "I kinda had a big lunch, so I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well, you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either, but I could eat"
She says, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do...
But first you gotta tell me what it is you're hungry for"
And she says, "Lemme think, what's left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday"
I hopped up and said, "I don't know, do you wanna get somethin' delivered?"
And she's like, "Why would I wanna eat liver? I don't even like liver"
I'm like, "No, I said delivered"
She's like, "I heard you say liver"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever... I just don't want any liver"
Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well, I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry callin' for the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voice mail"
I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right... So what do you wanna do?"
She says, "Why don't you whip up something in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"
And then she says, "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says "No," she says "Yes," I says "No," she says "Yes"
I says "No," she says "Yes... oh, here's your keys"
I step a little bit closer
And say "Okay, where you wanna go?"
She says, "How 'bout The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I don't know...
I don't feel like getting all dressed up and eatin' expensive food"
She says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood...
And Burrito King would make me gassy, there's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out"
Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do..."
She says "What?" I say "Guess" she says "WHAT?!"
I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru"
She we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive-thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru line, me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us, all just waiting to order
There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream, "Hey, whatcha tryin' to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should park...
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers...
So I ain't leavin' this ride"
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can...
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my wife says, "Baby...
Hold on, I've changed my mind...
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich instead this time"
I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream...
"I don't know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker says, "I don't have all day"
I said, "Then take our order, and we'll be on our way...
I wanna get a chicken sandwich...
And I want a cheeseburger too..."
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do...
Plus we need curly fries, and don't you dare forget it...
And two medium root beers - no, just one, we'll split it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' that you're probably not too bright...
So read me back my order, let's make sure you got it right"
She says, "1... you want a chicken sandwich...
2... you want a cheeseburger...
3... curly fries and a large root beer -"
"Stop! Don't go no further...
I never ordered a large root beer - I said medium, not large"
Then she says, "We havin' a special, I super-sized you at no charge"
"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "Oh"
And she says, "Now there's somethin' else
That I really think you should know...
You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I said, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru...
So what would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a minute...
Your voice sounds so familiar... hey, is this Paul?"
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul! Now tell me, who's this Paul?"
She says, "Oh, he's just some guy who goes to school with me...
I sat behind him last year and I copied off of him in geometry"
I said, "I know a guy named Paul, he used to be my plumber...
He was prematurely bald and he moved to Pittsburgh last summer...
He also had bladder problems and a really bad infection on his toe -"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there...
That's way more than I needed to know"
And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window, please - that'll be five dollars and eight-two cents"
So we inched ahead in line, movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored, so I turned on the radio
[instrumental recreation of "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin]
Click - turned it off because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly, for her sake
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um... I think you have somethin' in your teeth"
She turned away from me, and then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah...
Well, I mean, most of it...
But hey, y'know, don't sweat it"
Then she said...
"How 'bout now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost...
There's still a little bit there, but don't worry...
It's probably just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet
And the lady at the window's like...
"Well well well, that'll be $5.82"
I turn around to my wife and say, "How much have you got on you?"
She just rolls her eyes and says, "I'll pay for this, I guess"
So she reaches into her purse and busts out
The American Express
I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear...
It's gotta be cash only...
We don't take credit cards here"
I took back the card and said, "Gee, really? Well, that sucks"
And that's when I found out my wife was only carryin' three bucks
I said, "I thought you were gonna hit the ATM today."
She says, "I never got around to it... so where's your wallet anyway?"
And I said, "Never mind, just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window's lookin' at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, please, we gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses, lady, we won't be long"
So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before long I had a little pile of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says, "You're still about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got this weird look frozen on her face
She screams, "You know, I wasn't even really hungry in the first place!"
And so I turned around to the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay...
Forget the chicken sandwich then"
So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pick-up window
Man, I just can't wait to eat
And now we see this acne-ridden kid, about 16
Wearin' a dorky name tag that says "Hello, my name is Eugene"
And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him, "Hey Eugene, could I get some ketchup for my fries?"
Well, he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry...
What did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup"
And he says, "Oh, yeah, that's right...
I just spaced out there for a second...
I'm really kinda burnt tonight"
And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad with its intoxicating bouquet
I'm starvin' to death by the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger, I just gotta have a bite"
So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger
And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it...
They forgot the onions!

Weird Al Yankovic - Anthem lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Anthem lyrics



Anthem by Weird Al Yankovic


If I was strong I would never lose
If I could see it all I would look for you
If I had everything my way
And if I was high I'd come down for you
If it was all a lie I could make it all true
If I was everything you say
Chorus
This is your song
These are the right words to say
This is the life that I live every day
This is your voice
This is my red, white and blue
This is my anthem to you
And if I was tall I could see for miles
If I had all the time I would stay awhile
If I had everything my way
And if I had faith I'd believe it all
If I could hold on I would never fall
If I was everything you say
Chorus
This is your song
These are the right words to say
This is the life that I live every day
This is your voice
This is my red, white and blue
This is my anthem to you, to you
And if I was high I'd come down for you
If it was all a lie I can make it all true
If I was everything you say
This is your song
These are the right words to say
This is the life that I live every day
This is your voice
This is my red, white and blue
This is my anthem to you, to you
This is your song
This is my red white and blue
This is your voice
This is my anthem to you, to you

Ween - Mononucleosis lyrics

Ween - Mononucleosis lyrics



Mononucleosis by Ween


[okay, here's my attempt at transcription...any word suggestions, please send to: sheen@rtcol.com]
Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you
You name it easy, baby, I'll name it oooh
Would you name dispongent monkey, I'll go on and name it too
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly
Cough me a glob of hardened mercy and I'll zip it ooooh
Tell you fetch that mercy and you know I'm gonna fetch it too
You fetch, you fetch that mercy and you know he's gonna dig it too
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly
So tell it to me baby and tell me wishes oooh
Come on the beat's approaching and it's time to stop on ooooh
Baby, Eddie Dingle's coming over and Bobby's uncle, ooooh
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly
Actually, Rip Van Winkle and a-tinkle dinkle dinkle ooooh ooooh
Rip Van Winkle say "f**k You"
Man I miss you man Rip Van Winkle say "f**k You"
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly
Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you
You name it easy, baby, I'll name it oooh
You name dispongent monkey, I'll go on and name it too
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly
Cough me a glob of hardened mercy you'll see a nuzzle ooooh
Tell you fetch that mercy and you know I'm gonna fetch it too
You fetch, you fetch that mercy and you know he's gonna dig it too
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly
Molly Molly Molly Molly, etc.

Weird Al Yankovic - Outskirts lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Outskirts lyrics



Outskirts by Weird Al Yankovic


Last night red lights & sirens sound
Nine miles on a back street looking out of town
Out of touch going underground
Looking into the mirror
You can see 'em bearing down
(chorus)
Long road winding, headlights in the dark
Don't know where we're going, but it can't be to far...
Ten g's three for you the rest I'll keep
No clues no avenues, it's a perfect scheme
Outskirts hang a left at the hanging tree
Cause they say they're going to get you
But they won't mess with me
(chorus)
Long road burnin', you know you can't look back
Cause everywhere you are turning
You can't escape the fact...
Yeah they're getting closer now
Step on it man, you know they're gaining ground
Not afraid to die until right now
I can almost feel them breathing, fear for me..
Last night murder one was in the air
Johnny didn't mean to do it, he was really scared
Outlaws runnin' hiding who knows where
Next time your on the outskirts, I'll be waiting there...
(chorus)
Long road a winding, headlights in the dark
Long road returning
Like a knife in your heart
I'm on the outskirts now...

Weird Al Yankovic - Jurassic park lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Jurassic park lyrics



Jurassic park by Weird Al Yankovic


I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes, and before long, they were cloning DNA
Now, I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors, well, believe me, this has been one lousy day.
Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark all the dinosaurs are running wild.
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it's kinda eerie, but this proves my "Chaos Theory"
And I don't think I'll be coming back again,
Oh noooo!
I cannot approve of this attraction, 'cause getting disembowled always makes me kinda mad.
A huge Tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer, well I suppose that proves they're really not all bad.
Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark
all the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let T-rex out of his pen.
I'm afraid those things will harm me
Cause they sure don't act like Barney
And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend
Oh nooo!
**Tortured screams**
Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
What a crummy weekend this has been.
Well, this sure ain't no E-ticket
Think I'll tell them where to stick it
'Cause I'm never coming back this way, again!
Oh nooo!!! whoooaahh nooooo!

Weezer - Prodigy Lover lyrics

Weezer - Prodigy Lover lyrics



Prodigy Lover by Weezer


Something is different
Something has changed
You write me your letters
But they're not the same
Prodigy lover
Playin' the keyboards
Drawin' the music from me
Uncomprehending, I'm stupified
Cuz I wrote the rulebook you can't abide
Over and over, checkin' the airwaves
Drawin' the music from me
You'd say, "Okay, we'll both become the kings of money"
Over and over, checkin' the airwaves
Drawin' the music from me
You'd say, "Okay, we'll both become the kings of money"
Uncomprehending, I'm stupified
Cuz I wrote the rulebook you can't abide
I wrote the rulebook you can't abide
And I wrote the rulebook you can't abide
Oh no (I'm stupified), Oh no (I'm stupified)
Oh no (I'm stupified), Oh noooo (I'm stupified)

Weird Al Yankovic - Do i creep you out lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Do i creep you out lyrics



Do i creep you out by Weird Al Yankovic


I know that you don't know me very well
We've barely met, but I can surely tell
No one will ever love you like I do
I like to feel the warm spot on your chair
Sometimes I drool and usually I stare
My precious one
I saved that gum... that you threw in the garbage
You're the one I dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I creep you out?
Every time I shake your hand, now
Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
Well, do I creep you out?
Call you every night and hang up
Gonna carve your name in my leg
In my leg
Somethin' I should ask about...
Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse?
And do I creep you... do I creep you out?
(Your restraining order's out)
(Still the only question with me now) Oh, the only question
(Is do I creep you out?) Is do I creep you out?
Know exactly where you live now
Followed you from work back to your house
Well, do I creep you out?
Do I creep you out?

Weird Al Yankovic - Midnight Star lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Midnight Star lyrics



Midnight Star by Weird Al Yankovic


I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less
At the checkout counter at the local grocery store
I was only passin' by
But a paper caught my eye
And I learned a few things I never knew before
It said your pet may be an extra-terrestrial
It said the ghost of Elvis is living in my den
You can learn to cope with stress
You can beat the IRS
And the incredible frog boy is on the loose again
Oh, Midnight Star
It's in the weekly Midnight Star
Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Eat jelly doughnuts and lose twenty pounds a day
Hear the story of the man born without a head
And top psychics all agree
That the telephone company
Will have a brand new service that lets you talk to the dead
Oh, Midnight Star
You can believe it if you read it in the weekly Midnight Star
They're keeping Hitler's brain alive inside a jar
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know
(Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my bust-line grow)
Midnight Star, I wanna know
Oh, Midnight Star
Well, don't you know that I read it, I read it in the weekly Midnight Star
The UFOs have landed and we'll tell you where they are
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Midnight Star
Well, you can read all about in in the weekly Midnight Star
You can use you ESP to learn to play guitar
Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know
(Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(Ah, Midnight Star) Inquiring minds like mine wanna know
(You can read it {x5}, Midnight Star {x2}) (Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(You can read it {x5}, Midnight Star {x2}) (Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(You can read it {x5}, Midnight Star {x2}) (Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(You can read it {x5}, Midnight Star {x2}) (Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(You can read it {x5}, Midnight Star {x2}) (Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know
(You can read it {x5}, Midnight Star {x2}) (Ah, Midnight Star) I wanna know, I wanna know

Weird Al Yankovic - Precious Love lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Precious Love lyrics



Precious Love by Weird Al Yankovic


You got those big dark eyes that flash at me, baby
You got a head on your shoulders, you know what I mean
You got legs so long like you could walk on air
For you darlin', I'd go anywhere
(chorus)
For your love, your precious love
I' d do anything, yes I would
I want your love, your precious love
I' ve been too lonely too long
You got a kind of walk that's just so fine
The way you fill those blue jeans baby, my my my
Yes and when you smiled at me like you did just now
All I want is just to get to you somehow
(repeat chorus)
Yeah those big dark eyes that flash at me
It's just your precious love that I want, you to see
(repeat chorus)

Weird Al Yankovic - Harvey the wonder hamster lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic - Harvey the wonder hamster lyrics



Harvey the wonder hamster by Weird Al Yankovic


Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun
It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone
I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block
What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in stock
And the neighbors are just green
They say, "That's the biggest screen we've ever seen!"
It's Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everbody come and see(Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
That's Frank's remote control, you can look, but don't touch it, please
'Cause Frank's the one in charge and he decides what everybody sees
The picture's crystal clear and everything is magnified
Robert DeNiro's mole has got to be ten feet wide
Everybody in the town
Can hear those 90,000 watts of Dolby sound
And I'm mighty proud to say
Now I can watch "The Simpsons" from thirty blocks away
On Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)
I'm gonna get one of my own real soon
It's like having a drive-in movie in your own living room
Whoa, hey now... hey now na na na now
Hey now... hey now na na now
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Got a two year warranty on parts and labor
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV